Roast Goose Anyone?

When you see this picture, you may think to yourself, "Oh, what a nice little goose. How peaceful he looks just swimming along by himself."

Well, in the words of Monty Python (a personal favorite of mine): "That's no ordinary goose. That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered fowl you ever set eyes on. That goose's got a vicious streak a mile wide; it's a killer!" (Yeah, yeah, I know Tim the enchanter was really talking about a rabbit--BUT if he had met this goose he would have said the same thing about this goose.)

Last Thursday night when we were renting the house on Lake LBJ, Melinda and I were dying of heat stroke so we decided it would be fun to go jump in the lake. There was a boat dock at the house and some big rocks in the middle of the lake that we wanted to swim out to. We walked down to the dock and stuck our feet in. The water was a little bit cold so we sat a while on the dock. I finally jumped in and started swimming over to the rocks.

Then, out of nowhere, this goose flew over my head and landed in the water about ten feet away, facing me. Normally, this would be no big deal, right? After all, ducks and geese are cute and nice and always so appreciative of the bread crumbs that they are fed. But this was no nice goose. This goose started swimming towards me, its neck and head low to the water, hissing. I started screaming, laughing and swimming like mad to get to the rocks and away from this goose. I really felt quite vulnerable and scared but at the same time it seemed utterly absurd that I was being chased by a goose.

Meanwhile on the dock, the crowd was going crazy. Melinda and Emma were yelling at the goose and throwing acorns, pebbles and small sticks at it to get it to leave me alone. Evan was jumping up and down, crying and screaming hysterically. Autumn was taking pictures; because whether I am murdered by a goose or not, it would make an interesting clip to watch on YouTube. Ah, the American way.

So here I am now. I finally got to the rocks. The goose was closing in. I was terrified he was going to land on top of me and start attacking. Frantically, I pulled myself up onto the rocks, cutting up my knees and arms in the process. I stood up on the rocks--now bleeding all over the place--and tore off a tree branch for protection. He finally backed off, obviously cowed by my larger size and the scary-looking bit of twig and leaves I was shaking at him.

I discovered later that there was a female goose sitting on a nest between the rocks. So I guess I should be forgiving and not hold a grudge towards this goose because, after all, he was just trying to protect his family. But you know, he could have been a little nicer. Why didn't he simply ask me to swim in a different direction? Really, he was quite rude about the whole thing. And so territorial. Like the whole lake belonged to him.

And so every time I saw the goose that weekend it was all I could do not to run and give him a good kick in the rump. If anyone has a hunting license and a hankering for some roast goose, I've got the place for you.

Family Vacation at Lake LBJ

This past weekend was quite the memorable one. We rented a lakehouse on Lake LBJ and had an extended family vacation (Michael's side). It was the first time in quite a while that all of Michael's siblings and families were able to get together. We sure had a good time boating, playing games, fishing, eating, and hanging out (all this despite a rocky start and getting chased by a rabid goose).

Here are a few fun pictures and my top ten:

10. Beautiful weather, beautiful views and great family company.

9. Emma catching a fish.

8. Mom making us cookies every day!

7. Playing cards in character. Ok, am I a dork or what? Can someone show me some real gangsta signs?

6. Yours truly impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger losing at Cash Cab during family skits: "I am the governor of California and I know these things." Embarrasingly enough, I think this was caught on film.

5. Nathan's impression of George W. Bush on American Idol.

4. Cousins playing together, running wild and enjoying every minute of it.


3. Joel's impression of an NRA member.

2. Joel doing karaoke to "I'm Too Sexy." Too funny by far! (Since I gave him 2 of the top 10, we'll see if he'll stop over from chatting it up on Cougar Board to leave a comment. )

And the #1 slot goes to......:

1. No contest here--Melinda and her character Maria who wants to dance like John Travolta if she can only get rid of her J-Lo booty. Oh my goodness, this girl is hilarious! I had no idea. I was giggling like a school girl.

Thanks for the memories everyone!

I Believe In Miracles

So let me tell you, miracles have definitely not ceased in these last days. Not at my house. You've heard of the widow who fed Elijah and whose faith was rewarded with a barrel of meal and cruse of oil that never failed? Well, here at my house we have what's called the miracle of the laundry hamper. Seriously. This is not a joke people. This laundry hamper never fails either. Every time it is emptied, it fills right back up--almost immediately! It seems that no matter how many loads of laundry I do, I never have to worry about running out of dirty clothes.

I just don't know what I've done to deserve such a miracle. It must be on account of my super amazing faith or something.

Deja Vu

Emma cracks me up. She is such a little mother to her brothers. Today she put Isaiah in Evan's bed and started reading to him. It was so cute. I had to grab my camera and snap a picture.


Then I started thinking, I've seen this before. Sure enough, here's her reading to Evan and her baby doll.

This Would Make My Life Easier

Getting dressed these days would be a lot easier if I had a lovely little number like this, don't you agree?

I could simply don one of these comfy muu-muus and there would be no more hassling with trying to find something in my closet that I could fit into besides the maternity clothes. No more stacks of pants and skirts in a useless heap. No depressing realization that, yes, my hips really did get that big during pregnancy. Perhaps I might even arrive on time to places since I wouldn't have whittled away so much time in my closet. And only imagine--if I had been wearing a muu-muu today, my daughter wouldn't have said to me with such a cute, excited little grin, "Mom, are you going to have another baby?" Just love that one!

I think this muu-muu is really my best option during my current clothing crisis. But you decide. Here are the other less desirable choices:

Keep wearing maternity clothes. Ugh. Gag.

Wear too-tight old clothes anyway until body starts to go numb and lose circulation. Naah, not such a good idea.

Stop eating chocolate cake. No way man.

Spend lots of money for a "transtional" wardrobe. No thanks. I could just open the garbage can, drop the money in and save myself some time.

Hang out in the g's all day and never leave the house. Hmmm, definitely not. Besides going super cuckoo, I'd have to pay the kids' counseling bills one day for the visual trauma I inflicted on them in their tender years.

Wear the one pair of pants and shirt that do fit every single day. Um, yeah, I kind of do this already. But maybe I should do this with a really cool reason for doing this, such as rejecting consumerism like the gal who wore the same brown dress for an entire year: The Brown Dress Project. Quite an interesting story.

Now you may be wondering what the difference is between the muu-muu and maternity clothes. Good point. Not much, I grant you. But with the muu-muu, there need not be "maternity clothes" and "regular clothes." There would just be: "The Muu-muu." How easy is that?

By the way, the official spelling is mu'umu'u, according to Wikipedia.