Slamming the Door in My Face

You may not be able to tell from this picture but I have the battered-woman look going on right now. My left eye has cuts underneath the lid and there's bruising below that. When I smile, it hurts and if anything comes near my face, I panic and throw up my arm. 

What happened is this: We were on the lake this weekend. I was doing some flips on my board. Kind of like this guy in the picture, except I was ten times more amazing than that. 

That is until I tried out my backflip and biffed the landing. Sadly, the board and my face got a little too close together.

Uh huh. Sure. Well, that's the official story anyway because who wants to explain that they slammed the car door in their face? Who wants to explain that they were in such a hurry at the auto body shop, transferring car seats and stuff back over into their now-fixed-after-being-rear-ended car, that they didn't realize their face was in the way when they opened the driver's door at full-on, break-face speeds? Did I mention this was in front of the auto body guy who was like, "Uh, are you ok?"

"Yeah, sure. It was nothing."

Ice pack please!

I mean, who does things like that? Idiots? No need to answer that.

The one good thing that has come out of it is that I have convinced my children that my "monster eye" is all-seeing and all-knowing.  The monster eye knows if they are being naughty. The monster eye also has special flame-shooting powers to immediately silence and singe fighting children. Now I just a drop an "I've got my monster eye on you" and they shape up lickety-split.

Ok, time for another ibuprofen.