Since it's Sunday, I thought I'd better blog about something religious so I can count this blogging time as an appropriate Sunday activity. Here you go. Today I'm going to talk about pride. Now pride is something that the prophets are always talking about--mainly, about us needing to get rid of it. Yeah, yeah, easier said than done. But I have come upon a method that will completely strip you of all pride. 100% guaranteed. I call it "The Pride-Sucker Method."
So this is it: Volunteer to do anything that you do not have the skills for. Then show up, perform agreed-upon duties and leave 100% pride-free. Here's my particular favorite: If the choir assistant is short a pianist for that evening's choir practice, agree to do it. But I don't play the piano, you say. Well, that does not matter. Even if you play the piano this method will still work.
Testimonial: I, Kasey, used The Pride-Sucker Method today and I can definitely bear testimony that this method works! I was pulled out of Sunday School today and asked if I could play for choir tonight. Of course I said yes because I knew about The Pride-Sucker Method and thought it would be a fantastic opportunity to rid myself of some of that pride baggage.
I showed up and looked at the music for the first time. Love that no preparation stuff! Then I met the choir director who happened to be perhaps the most qualified choir director I've ever met, working on a master's degree in some sort of music specialty. Oh goody. I knew I was going to get lots of pride sucked out today. And I did. The Pride-Sucker Method really came through for me. I did my duties with my usual Kasey excellence of forgetting how to count and mixing up my pages and playing the men's notes on the treble clef and struggling through music note dsylexia because of those extra lines of music and playing wrong notes and all sorts of heinous errors that are too numerous to mention. Oh and that was all just without even attempting the accompaniment. I was really on a roll tonight.
The thing to remember about this method is to completely let your pride go and just flow with it. Pride, self-respect....let them go. It's difficult, but you have to hang in there through every last humiliating moment. I confess that during a moment of weakness tonight, I started wishing I had worn a bag over my head and introduced myself as Mystery Sister on the piano. But that would have impeded The Pride-Sucker Method. I should be saying thank goodness I had no paper bag to hide my face. It made the humiliation all the more acute. So thank you Pride-Sucker Method. I feel completely stripped of pride.
Well, at least for tonight.
I'm sure next week I'm going to blame this all on my friend Katie. "No, no that wasn't me playing the piano in choir. You're thinking of Katie. She's a brunette too and since we work together in Relief Society and have names that start with K and end with an 'e' sound, people seem to mix us up from time to time. "