This Is How Addiction Begins

I was digitizing my old photos today and couldn't pass this one up. 

Yes, this would be me when I was 4 years old.  The chubby-faced, straggly-haired little girl on the left holding a triple-scoop ice cream cone. Did I say three scoops?! Holy cow! What 4-year-old can eat that much ice cream? Me, I guess. 

Look at my sis Jen. She's much more moderate in her ice cream indulgence with just one scoop. Of course, she was only 2 then and couldn't talk. I bet if she could have talked, she would have said something like, "Hey, give me more ice cream! Why does Chubby get 3 scoops and I only get a lousy one scoop? Cheapskates."

So this is how it all began. For those of you who know me, you know that I am constantly trying to go "off-sugar."  Moderation does not exist for me. One cookie leads to a dozen cookies. There are simply no brakes in my car.  It is all or nothing for me.  And sadly, I do much better at all than nothing. 

Not that I'm blaming this on the wonderful parental unit that got me hooked in the first place. Nope. I'm just saying, "Wow, look how early it began in my life." Nice, 70's outfit too, huh? Groovy, man.

Static Power

My kids have discovered static electricity.  And being the smart kids that they are, they soon realized they could use it as a weapon.  

The funniest thing is to watch them gather up their electrons.  They lie on the trampoline, waving theirs arms and legs back and forth like they're doing snow angels.  How they giggle when they sneak up behind you and give you a first-rate shock.  Michael took this shot of Emma above, charged up and ready to attack.

Multi-tasking

As a mom, I think multi-tasking is my middle name. So here's my new favorite way to get two jobs done at once:

I get the dishes done and Isaiah gets a bath.  I'm happy.  He's happy. And we conserve water. What's not to like?

A Little Inappropriate Humor

I picked up some new bibs for Isaiah at Walmart the other day.  They have a bunch of funny sayings on them.  One of them says "Ladies Man."   

Now my kids do not know what a ladies' man is.  But they think it sounds so funny.

So this morning at breakfast, Michael picked up that bib and said, "Ladies' man!  Who's the ladies' man?" 

Evan grabbed the bib and put it on and said, "I'm the ladies' man."

Then he noticed that it was dirty.  Isaiah must have gotten bananas or pears on it. Evan then very astutely put two facts together.  The bib was dirty.  The bib said Ladies Man.

He started chanting, "I'm the dirty ladies' man.  I'm the dirty ladies' man."

Michael and I just lost it. It was so innocent and yet so hilarious.  

Dumb Happens

Yes, it does. And it happens to me more frequently than the average person. I'm not quite sure what is happening to my brain. I used to consider myself a reasonably intelligent person. No matter. It all helps me stay grounded and not get all stuck-up smarty pants on you.

Here's tonight's random list of decisions I have made without consulting my brain:

1. Buying expensive consumer electronics.

From now on, I'd much rather just buy crappy stuff. Because when it breaks down, you don't care. I bought a VCR from Goodwill and although, it doesn't rewind very well, I don't mind. I paid $5 for it and am very satisfied with my purchase.

2. Buying white couches.

Ok, I did buy these before I had kids. But really, did I think I would never have kids? The problem with white couches is that I don't want anybody to sit on them. Seriously, get off those couches. Don't get food anywhere in a 10-foot perimeter of them. Don't jump on them. Don't touch them. They are not for sitting--just for looking at. Move on people.

3. Thinking I could lose the last ten pounds by only consuming water with lemon juice.

This was in high school and I only tried it for maybe an hour.

4. Thinking I could paper mache a Greek statue using a vacuum cleaner and an empty milk container.

In college. With no paper mache experience. See, the great thing about going to BYU is that we don't have to be drunk to do silly stupid things.

5. Buying a house next to a train.

Because if you want to sell it one day, no one will ever want to buy it. People looking for homes are so picky these days. I mean, there are a million things that are far worse to live near than a train...such as....um, a dump, a nuclear testing facility, a minefield, a gun range, a strip joint, a chicken processing plant. I could just go on and on, you know.

So there you have it: decision-making without using one single brainwave (I'll call it part 2 of my soon-to-be patented pride-sucker method.)

What Are Those Little Minds Thinking?

I love this picture. My mother-in-law took it at Thanksgiving. My nephew Peter is on the left and Isaiah is on the right.  These two little boys are the closest cousins in age yet at about three months apart. They look so serious as they study each other.  What are these precious little guys thinking as they take each other in? If only we knew.